January 17, 2025: I carry the words change, connections, and reorder with me. I wonder what new words will guide my life, and yours, by the end of 2025.

Guiding Words from Enid Macken

On April 2nd, 2024, a physical therapist looked at some changes in my walking and told me I needed to go to an emergency room that day. I was surprised; I didn’t feel like I was having a medical emergency. It turned out I had nerve damage resulting from arthritis in my back. My life was not in danger, but I needed surgery. 

After the surgery, I spent nine weeks in a rehab facility, learning how to walk again. By the time I left rehab, I could get around using a walker. This was a time of great upheaval in my life—between the hospital stay and the rehab facility, I had been away from my home for nine months.

As I lay in bed during rehab, I realized two words characterized my current life. The words were change and connection. The struggles I was having with mobility were a change in my life. The phone calls, visits, and cards from family and friends lifted my spirits and showed me how important connections with others are. Keeping these two words in mind has helped me to accept the new path my life is taking.

Life is full of changes. Some of the changes are ones we choose and have worked to achieve. I feel fortunate that many of the changes in my life have been of this kind. This month, two individuals whose births changed me will have milestone birthdays. The birth of my son, who is now turning 60, changed the focus of my life by making me a mother. I now had someone who depended on me to nurture and care for him. The birth of my oldest grandchild, now turning 30, introduced me to the new joy of grandparenting.

Other changes are unexpected, and require us to accept them and adjust our lives. In the fall of 1984, my family and I experienced major changes to our lives. I went from being a substitute teacher who did not work every day to taking over teaching a class for the rest of the school year. We also bought a house and became a host family to a high school exchange student from Japan. 

Even though these changes made my life busy and more complicated at the time, I now see the joy they brought. Our exchange student has been considered a member of our family for the past 40 years. These changes taught me that some of life’s changes can be difficult at first and yet become positive experiences later.

Last August, I added the word reorder to my list. I read Franciscan priest Richard Rohr’s (1943- ) daily reflections. He writes about going through stages of order, disorder, and reorder as parts of the process of reaching spiritual maturity. I thought reorder also fit with the changes in my life since my surgery. Some of the reordering has involved making simple changes, such as using easier to handle containers when heating up things in the microwave. Other reordering has required more effort, but has also been more rewarding. For years, I have made pumpkin pies for Halloween and Thanksgiving. This year, a granddaughter offered to help me make the Halloween pies. She and I spent a beautiful afternoon working together, and her sister joined us for another wonderful pie-making experience for Thanksgiving.

I need and value these new opportunities for connection, especially since the changes in my mobility have affected my ability to stay connected with others. I used to attend many group events by myself. Now I am dependent on someone to drive me places. 

I often read that keeping strong social connections is a key to healthy aging. Staying in contact with others requires effort on both sides. Sometimes I am the one who makes a phone call, sends a message, or plans a visit. Other times, I am the grateful recipient of someone connecting with me.

Fortunately, this digital age offers more ways to stay connected with others without leaving home. During the pandemic, I started using Zoom as a way to keep in touch with my family, and I still have weekly calls with my brothers and cousins. One Zoom group that I recently joined has become an especially important source of connection for me. Thanks to the leader and the regular members of the group, it has become a true community. I have felt very supported and cared for by these people who live all over the United States. 

The leader is a wonderful listener who remembers what is going on in our lives and asks us about it. The readings and group discussion inspire me as I begin my week. I am grateful for the opportunities for connection that having the Starcross Sunday meetings over Zoom have given me. 

As we begin the year, I carry the words change, connections, and reorder with me. I wonder what new words will guide my life, and yours, by the end of 2025.

-Enid

Enid Macken is a member of the Starcross Publication Committee. She is a longtime follower of the work of Starcross and a regular reader of the Friday Reflections. She is happy she can now join the Starcross Sunday meetings on Zoom. Enid is a retired elementary school teacher who continued to volunteer in classrooms after her retirement. For enjoyment and inspiration, she and her husband plan “Connecting with Nature” outings.