Wednesday, July 30, 2025: a deep knowing that I am loved

Wednesday, July 30, 2025: Perhaps the word love best describes what seemed to be flowing into me; yes, a deep knowing that I was loved.

Religion is ultimately not a moral matter; it’s a mystical matter. While most of us begin focused on moral proficiency and perfection, we can’t spend our whole lives this way. Paul calls this first-half-of-life approach “the law”; I call it the performance principle. 

We think, “I’m good because I obey this commandment, because I do this kind of work, or because I belong to this group.” That’s the calculus the ego understands. The human psyche, all organizations, and governments need this kind of common-sense structure at some level. 

But that game has to fall apart, or it will kill us. Paul says the law leads to death (see Paul's letter to the Romans 7:5;

5 For when we were in the flesh, the sinful passions which were aroused by the law were at work in our members to bear fruit to death. 6 But now we have been delivered from the law, having died to what we were held by, so that we should serve in the newness of the Spirit and not in the oldness of the letter (of the law).

Yet many Christians are still trapped inside the law, believing that by doing the right things, they’re going to somehow attain worthiness or acceptance from God. The ways in which we’ve defined ourselves as successful, moral, right, good, on top of it, number one … have to fail us! 

Pastor Juanita Campbell Rasmus describes how having a rules-based approach to religion left her feeling hollow and out of touch with God’s love:  

As a child, rules kept me safe from judgment and harm, safe from breaking any of God’s do-not-cross-this-line rules. I thought the rules worked: I didn’t drink, I didn’t smoke, I didn’t steal, I didn’t gamble, I didn’t … and so on, my little checklist of righteousness went. And yet I was aware that my life had a certain quality of hollowness to it…. 

Understanding began to come to me one day while I was lying on the sofa in the living room…. The room was filled with the warm midday sun. As I lay there, the Lord said, You have built a life filled with rules. Your rules have boxed you in, and they have boxed me out.  

I didn’t get it. Wasn’t the God-life all about following rules? Isn’t Christianity rooted in Thou shalt not? Had I gotten what it meant to be a Christian totally wrong? If it wasn’t about the rules, then what had I wasted my time and life doing all these years? And if I had gotten this all wrong, what else had I gotten wrong about God? Even more, what would it take to get it right?...

Rules alone had left me hollow inside, but the sense that the Spirit was freeing me to be in relationship was so life-giving that all I could call it was joy. Something about this new awareness began to fill some of the emptiness that I had been feeling…. I have found that relationship with God and my practice of abiding with God, being joined with God, are what make me solid inside and out.... Perhaps the word love best describes what seemed to be flowing into me; yes, a deep knowing that I was loved.